Inappropriate Bodily Functions.
I am a pig. It is nice to know I have passed this trait on to my children. Its not that I'm totally disgusting, but I do certain things now I've reached a certain part in my life, where in the home environment, I'm not sensitive as to my behaviour. This includes burping, snorting when clearing my nose, and farting as loudly as possible. My mother would be appalled. The kids of course think that this is acceptable not only in the house, but outside the house. The magic words "Excuse Me" also seem to be the Get out of Jail free words to use should you be in public. They do have some decorum.
This was brought to my attention when we visited some friends over the weekend, one couple of which doesn't have children. Ethan continues to have a cold, although that didn't stop him running around the garden playing Hide and Seek and Tag You're It. Once he'd finished, he came back into the house for a drink, and whilst standing at the table with snot dripping from his nose, he proceeded to tell us how he had been so good at those games. I of course, unthinkingly pulled out a handkerchief and stuck it to his nose. As he snorted out the boogers, he continued on unerringly describing his activities. I thought nothing of this.
Of course, our friend who was sitting next to us, heard all of this and screwed up her face. Anth, who was watching knowingly, said, "Disgusting, isn't it?" to which said friend replied "I'm just not used to hearing bodily functions so up close and personal!" It's true, I didn't give it a second thought. On top of that, Aidan, who had some diet soft drink, continued to burp happily to all in close quarters with every sip, exclaiming loudly "Excuse Me!" with each expulsion, and with a huge grin on his face. All it would have taken was for me to start blowing a tune from my rear trumpet and we would have got the whole triad of inappropriate bodily functions at the one party.
Ciao for Now, Arse Trumpet Angry Dad.
This was brought to my attention when we visited some friends over the weekend, one couple of which doesn't have children. Ethan continues to have a cold, although that didn't stop him running around the garden playing Hide and Seek and Tag You're It. Once he'd finished, he came back into the house for a drink, and whilst standing at the table with snot dripping from his nose, he proceeded to tell us how he had been so good at those games. I of course, unthinkingly pulled out a handkerchief and stuck it to his nose. As he snorted out the boogers, he continued on unerringly describing his activities. I thought nothing of this.
Of course, our friend who was sitting next to us, heard all of this and screwed up her face. Anth, who was watching knowingly, said, "Disgusting, isn't it?" to which said friend replied "I'm just not used to hearing bodily functions so up close and personal!" It's true, I didn't give it a second thought. On top of that, Aidan, who had some diet soft drink, continued to burp happily to all in close quarters with every sip, exclaiming loudly "Excuse Me!" with each expulsion, and with a huge grin on his face. All it would have taken was for me to start blowing a tune from my rear trumpet and we would have got the whole triad of inappropriate bodily functions at the one party.
Ciao for Now, Arse Trumpet Angry Dad.
posted by Wes at 10:55 pm
4 Comments:
LOL- good job!
I believe arse trumpeting is like some sort of requirement of dads. I actually vaguely remember my own partner signing some sort of official document to that effect when I was in labor, but it's all a little hazy, with the drugs and all.
You're darn tootin' it's a requirement! (sorry, couldn't help myself!) At least you're husband was cognisant for your births. I managed to faint during one of ours, and for the others everything was real quick. No drugs in this household, much to my wife's disdain!
Glad you came and visited my blog!
Oh this is too funny - and soooo true (I will spare you the details) haha
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