Overawed
Sometimes as adults, its only when we think of how we treated our children later that their perspective comes into view.
Yesterday, our Taekwondo club had a demonstration at one of the local school fetes. We'd prepared Ethan to go along, and he and I got our uniforms on at home, and drove up to the school. Just as we pulled up into the car park, we could see other class students in their uniforms practicing in the school grounds. From a distance, it looked like most of them were black belts, as their belt colours were mainly dark. I commented on this to Ethan, as we pulled up to a stop.
I managed to convince him that we would go, as their were lots of other rides and games there, and perhaps we could come back and have a look if he was good. He tentatively got out of the car, and we stuck together during most of the presentation. Overall, I think he had a good time, and once we were actually with the others he calmed down a lot and enjoyed it.
From my perspective, when I was in the car, I just thought he was being difficult. I forget how easy it is to be overawed in situations like that. I've spent a lot of time in front of people, I've been in bands (both school and personal), I do public speaking, and I'm also well into adulthood, even though I often act like a child. Ethan's six. He's had very little of these types of experiences, so its quite right that he felt some trepidation. He's also a particularly sensitive kid.
Hopefully this will give him another shot of confidence that he can do things. He has no problems being social, mainly I think due to his older brother's highly outgoing nature. He does, however, sometimes have his own self confidence issues. But like I said, he's only six! So I need to just chill, and give him time to gain it by himself, and remember what its like to be daunted in the spotlight.
Ciao for Now, Chillin' Angry Dad.
Yesterday, our Taekwondo club had a demonstration at one of the local school fetes. We'd prepared Ethan to go along, and he and I got our uniforms on at home, and drove up to the school. Just as we pulled up into the car park, we could see other class students in their uniforms practicing in the school grounds. From a distance, it looked like most of them were black belts, as their belt colours were mainly dark. I commented on this to Ethan, as we pulled up to a stop.
"Look, it looks like there are a lot of black belts their today!"
"Are there any white belts like me there?"
"Yeah, there will be other kids there. We've got our presentation."
"I don't want to go." (tears)
"Why not. All the other kids are there?"
"I want to go home."
"But I need you to go. We're not going home."
"But I'm scared..."
I managed to convince him that we would go, as their were lots of other rides and games there, and perhaps we could come back and have a look if he was good. He tentatively got out of the car, and we stuck together during most of the presentation. Overall, I think he had a good time, and once we were actually with the others he calmed down a lot and enjoyed it.
From my perspective, when I was in the car, I just thought he was being difficult. I forget how easy it is to be overawed in situations like that. I've spent a lot of time in front of people, I've been in bands (both school and personal), I do public speaking, and I'm also well into adulthood, even though I often act like a child. Ethan's six. He's had very little of these types of experiences, so its quite right that he felt some trepidation. He's also a particularly sensitive kid.
Hopefully this will give him another shot of confidence that he can do things. He has no problems being social, mainly I think due to his older brother's highly outgoing nature. He does, however, sometimes have his own self confidence issues. But like I said, he's only six! So I need to just chill, and give him time to gain it by himself, and remember what its like to be daunted in the spotlight.
Ciao for Now, Chillin' Angry Dad.
posted by Wes at 11:03 pm
4 Comments:
I have nephews and nieces, no kids of my own so I've never had to deal with a situation like that. I've seen how delicate their egos can be and how easily shattered their confidence can be.
When I see parents yelling at their children to do something, it overwhelms me. Many times, I see it's because the child is being forced to do something they really don't want to. To me it's just the child expressing their own individuality.
I'm glad that you saw that it was Ethan's confidence and not just a case of stubborness.
You know, after reading this, I wonder how many times I've thought my children were just being difficult, when there was actually an underlying reason for their actions...Like confidence as was the case in your post...
I'm going to start trying to view things from a child's mind view from now on when they seem upset or agitated, or just difficult...
thanks for the reminder. i have a six year old also and have been in situations like this too.
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Kudos to the Angry Dad!!
Your little ones are lucky to have you. So many people never stop to think for a minute what their child is really thinking/experiencing. It is nice to hear that you listen to your son, and gently encourage him to be confident!
Hope the Taekwondo was fun, we were also at one of those (only 4 blackbelts though, so not too much intimidation for little ones) for my nephew. Very impressed, and I signed up my oldest for a summer session. Yeah!
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