The boy with no shoes
Being intellectually disabled, Aidan has certain nuances that when brought to the fore can be incredibly annoying and frustrating. There are some days, where all of his little ticks and traits play out one after the other. Aidan often exhibits traits similar to Autism or Tourette's Syndrome, although we know he doesn't have these. He gets things in his head and can't get them out. Today was one of those days.
It began the night before. Aidan has a Fun Run he will be going to on Thursday. Last night, he asked if he had the fun run "tomorrow." This morning when he woke, his conversation was about how he would be having his fun run today. No, we responded, it would be on Thursday. This went into a repeated tantrum about the Fun Run.
We weren't going to take his shoes off, but he began his tic of putting his hands in his mouth and screaming. Then he bit me. I know it was out of frustration, but it hurt. I'm proud of myself that I didn't swipe him on the bum. So we ended up taking his shoes off, at which point the bus arrived and off he went shoe less - the boy with no shoes.
When I told some people about it at work, they said "That must be so hard." It is hard, but its not that hard. We've lived with it all Aidan's life, so it is part of our lives. There's nothing profound about it, and everyone has their own stories and nuances with things that effect them. I just thought I'd share a little of what our life can be like. At other times he's an Angel, and we just wish we could figure out what sets him off! We'll probably never know.
Ciao for Now, Once Bitten Angry Dad.
It began the night before. Aidan has a Fun Run he will be going to on Thursday. Last night, he asked if he had the fun run "tomorrow." This morning when he woke, his conversation was about how he would be having his fun run today. No, we responded, it would be on Thursday. This went into a repeated tantrum about the Fun Run.
"Want Fun Run today. Fun Run Today. Fun Run Today." (repeat ad nauseum)
"No Aidan. The Fun Run is on Thursday. How about Breakfast?"
"No want Breakfast. Not like Breakfast. No want Breakfast." (repeat ad nauseum)
Attempt to get Aidan dressed. He now needs to have his shirt tucked into his pants.
"Need Tuck In. Need Tuck In." (repeat ad nauseum)
He also needs to have the tag in the collar on his shirt set just right...
"Tag. Tag Tag." (repeat ad nauseum)
He needs to have his socks and shoes put on just right. He also has an orthotic to help his walking ....
"Sock On. Shoe's Too Tight. Too Tight Mummy. Sock On Daddy."
Attempt to get Aidan onto the school bus which picks him up
"Need Shoes Off. Bus. Bus. Shoes Too Tight."
We weren't going to take his shoes off, but he began his tic of putting his hands in his mouth and screaming. Then he bit me. I know it was out of frustration, but it hurt. I'm proud of myself that I didn't swipe him on the bum. So we ended up taking his shoes off, at which point the bus arrived and off he went shoe less - the boy with no shoes.
When I told some people about it at work, they said "That must be so hard." It is hard, but its not that hard. We've lived with it all Aidan's life, so it is part of our lives. There's nothing profound about it, and everyone has their own stories and nuances with things that effect them. I just thought I'd share a little of what our life can be like. At other times he's an Angel, and we just wish we could figure out what sets him off! We'll probably never know.
Ciao for Now, Once Bitten Angry Dad.
posted by Wes at 9:59 pm
6 Comments:
I feel for you. You are an excellent father. Parenting can be so hard even under the best of circumstances.
I used to write about children with special needs for an education newspaper. I think the kids teach us a lot about ourselves. How to be extra patient, how to control our frustration and anger. They are real gifts in that way. They can make us all better people.
Lisa
I am proud of you too. Hey a shoeless day won't kill ya! =o)
My 3 year old son is obsessed with doors. In particular, garage doors. Whether we are driving or walking, he is always looking at the doors. And saying, "Door pah!" (door up) or "Door ohhhhhhh!" (door closed). And the ways he marks his day is whether our door will go up. We're going out to the park? He says, "Door pah!" We talk about Daddy coming home from work, and he says, "Daddy home door pah!"
We often think he is going to grow up and be a doorman at some swanky NYC hotel.
Tantrums occur with or without diabilities.....you handled it just right - Bravo!
Yeah, it can be be very hard. You handled it beautifully. Most times I have not idea what triggers my 4 year olds screamers. They just happen. and it is only because I have lived with them for so long that I am able to remain calm and loving.
Love that boy, with or without shoes!!! I wish I had the answers too.
Carrie
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