Hell Morning.
This is a long post, but strive on humble reader, for the delights of hell morning. You will note that it is better that it was I, and not you!
I bet we've all had one of those morning's where things just start to go off, and there seems to be nothing you can do to control it. It doesn't matter whether you've got kids or not, some days, you just shouldn't get out of bed. Today was one of them.
It started off normal enough. Callum woke up around 6:30am. Aidan came into bed. Anth disappeared to Aidan's room for more sleep. Callum screamed in my ear, but I managed to get him to go back to sleep. I lay awake, unable to sleep on my back with the Appendage growing from my stomach. The dulcet tones of Aidan's snoring also keeping me awake. By 8:00am I'd had enough, and Callum re-awoke, punching Aidan in the head. So there was nothing abnormal here.
We had to be at our best friends son's Birthday party, at a local McDonalds, for 10:00am. We were all up at 8:00am. Anth told us we HAD to be ready by 9:30am, and we couldn't be late, because she was sick and tired of always being late. At 9:30am, I was just finishing breakfast, Ethan was lazing on the back couch watching cartoons, Callum was sucking on toast with vegemite and Aidan was freaking out about the T-Shirt he had to wear. Anth was in the shower, almost ready to go. Fast forward through the next half hour where Callum didn't stop crying, Aidan wouldn't get dressed, I wouldn't pull my finger out, and Ethan - god bless him - was good!
So we were ready to go at 10:00am. That was almost ok. We'd be late, but not too late. Until Aidan moved to get in the car. The dog had shat on the floor of the garage. Aidan stood in it. He then jumped in the car. He stood on the seat. He wiped his foot on the back of the drivers seat. This was all unbeknownst to Anth and I. I almost stood in the dog turd as I closed his door, and then I saw it, smushed up on the garage floor, with the trail into the car.
I won't go on with the further exchange, but you can imagine it was full of expletives, and it took us a further 15 minutes to clean the shoes, clean Aidan, clean the car, pick up dog turd, and get to the point where we could go on.
At the party, Aidan was a little shit. He complained as soon as we got there, that he was hungry. Well that'd be because you didn't eat breakfast wouldn't it?! So he accosted the McDonalds staff for food, which they of course weren't ready to give. One of the other parents also foolishly offered him bubblegum. The offerer wasn't the fool, but I was for saying No. The problem with bubblegum is Aidan puts it all over his face and in his hair. The other parent didn't know this. Aidan threw another tantrum. Other than this, the party was fine, and Ethan and Callum had fun! Anth and I stayed on the verge of nervous breakdown.
Now to top off the morning, we had a soccer game we had to get to at noon. This meant we had to leave the party early. Ever tried to get kids out of McDonalds when there's still a party going on? Even Callum wouldn't give up the fry he was holding. We dragged them out, kicking and screaming, and rushed off to soccer. It took longer than expected to get to the ground. Oh well, Ethan could join at half time. Uh Uh. We'd been given directions to the wrong ground. After running around one set of soccer fields, baby, intellectually disabled child, frazzled soccer mum, and soccer boy in tow, we gathered that we were in the wrong place. Anth made the call, and we'd passed the actual ground about 20 minutes earlier. Fancy that.
To top off hell morning, by slightly running into the afternoon, we finally got to the soccer game, and they were running late enough that we still managed to get there at half time. Ethan got put on straight away as Goalie, until the coach had second thoughts and shifted him to the main field. Great move coach. One of his own players kicked the ball at him. Now, as much as I'm a fan of football in the groin comedy, this wasn't one of those days. He went down. He teared up. Anth had to be kicked to go out and be nice to him (She is sick of him crying at soccer!) I had to hold on to Aidan and Callum to stop them escaping, and the sun beat down on us, mocking us, beating its hell rays on us to confirm that Yes, we truly had had Hell Morning.
Fortunately, it didn't turn into Hell Day. We spent the better half of the afternoon, chilling out at friends where we were able to calm down, and actually laugh about it. Hope you enjoyed this rant!
Ciao for Now, Hellish Angry Dad.
I bet we've all had one of those morning's where things just start to go off, and there seems to be nothing you can do to control it. It doesn't matter whether you've got kids or not, some days, you just shouldn't get out of bed. Today was one of them.
It started off normal enough. Callum woke up around 6:30am. Aidan came into bed. Anth disappeared to Aidan's room for more sleep. Callum screamed in my ear, but I managed to get him to go back to sleep. I lay awake, unable to sleep on my back with the Appendage growing from my stomach. The dulcet tones of Aidan's snoring also keeping me awake. By 8:00am I'd had enough, and Callum re-awoke, punching Aidan in the head. So there was nothing abnormal here.
We had to be at our best friends son's Birthday party, at a local McDonalds, for 10:00am. We were all up at 8:00am. Anth told us we HAD to be ready by 9:30am, and we couldn't be late, because she was sick and tired of always being late. At 9:30am, I was just finishing breakfast, Ethan was lazing on the back couch watching cartoons, Callum was sucking on toast with vegemite and Aidan was freaking out about the T-Shirt he had to wear. Anth was in the shower, almost ready to go. Fast forward through the next half hour where Callum didn't stop crying, Aidan wouldn't get dressed, I wouldn't pull my finger out, and Ethan - god bless him - was good!
So we were ready to go at 10:00am. That was almost ok. We'd be late, but not too late. Until Aidan moved to get in the car. The dog had shat on the floor of the garage. Aidan stood in it. He then jumped in the car. He stood on the seat. He wiped his foot on the back of the drivers seat. This was all unbeknownst to Anth and I. I almost stood in the dog turd as I closed his door, and then I saw it, smushed up on the garage floor, with the trail into the car.
"Faaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrkkkkkk. Get out of the Car Aidan."
"What. What's wrong."
"The dog shat in the garage Anth."
"Shit."
"Yes, Shit. Aidan stood in it and its all through the car."
"We HAVE to go. We have a birthday party to go to."
At this point, all three boys in the car start howling.
"I am NOT driving the car with dog shit in it. Get out Aidan."
"We HAVE to GO!"
"Go and get some car cleaner, or spot remover, or whatever...."
I won't go on with the further exchange, but you can imagine it was full of expletives, and it took us a further 15 minutes to clean the shoes, clean Aidan, clean the car, pick up dog turd, and get to the point where we could go on.
At the party, Aidan was a little shit. He complained as soon as we got there, that he was hungry. Well that'd be because you didn't eat breakfast wouldn't it?! So he accosted the McDonalds staff for food, which they of course weren't ready to give. One of the other parents also foolishly offered him bubblegum. The offerer wasn't the fool, but I was for saying No. The problem with bubblegum is Aidan puts it all over his face and in his hair. The other parent didn't know this. Aidan threw another tantrum. Other than this, the party was fine, and Ethan and Callum had fun! Anth and I stayed on the verge of nervous breakdown.
Now to top off the morning, we had a soccer game we had to get to at noon. This meant we had to leave the party early. Ever tried to get kids out of McDonalds when there's still a party going on? Even Callum wouldn't give up the fry he was holding. We dragged them out, kicking and screaming, and rushed off to soccer. It took longer than expected to get to the ground. Oh well, Ethan could join at half time. Uh Uh. We'd been given directions to the wrong ground. After running around one set of soccer fields, baby, intellectually disabled child, frazzled soccer mum, and soccer boy in tow, we gathered that we were in the wrong place. Anth made the call, and we'd passed the actual ground about 20 minutes earlier. Fancy that.
To top off hell morning, by slightly running into the afternoon, we finally got to the soccer game, and they were running late enough that we still managed to get there at half time. Ethan got put on straight away as Goalie, until the coach had second thoughts and shifted him to the main field. Great move coach. One of his own players kicked the ball at him. Now, as much as I'm a fan of football in the groin comedy, this wasn't one of those days. He went down. He teared up. Anth had to be kicked to go out and be nice to him (She is sick of him crying at soccer!) I had to hold on to Aidan and Callum to stop them escaping, and the sun beat down on us, mocking us, beating its hell rays on us to confirm that Yes, we truly had had Hell Morning.
Fortunately, it didn't turn into Hell Day. We spent the better half of the afternoon, chilling out at friends where we were able to calm down, and actually laugh about it. Hope you enjoyed this rant!
Ciao for Now, Hellish Angry Dad.
posted by Wes at 9:55 pm
2 Comments:
Not that I am laughing AT you - I am laughing WITH you! I have sooo had those days - but recently it involves the elderly dog squatting right in front me and peeing in the floor.
Glad it all worked out in the end - OH and thanks for the vote!!!
I just have to say that I really did not realize that "a vegemite sandwich" was something that people actually ate. But I guess I'm standing here corrected!
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