Siblings of Disabled Children
Today was Ethan's Celebration Day at primary school. This was an opportunity for mums and dads to go down to the school and review the kids progress so far this year. Anth went down, and got to see all of Ethan's school work. He's doing a great job, but one thing Anth rang and told me about is a reflection on kids who are siblings of disabled kids.
The kids all had question and answer type statements in an About Me folder. To the question "What makes you grumpy?" Ethan had written words to the effect of, "Aidan, because he's annoying." It's true, Aidan can be incredibly annoying. He has a habit of restating the same questions over and over again, and for normal kids he can be terrible to play with, as his attention strays easily. His finger dexterity means he can't pick up simple things as well as normal kids. He doesn't destroy things like he used to, that's Callum's current job. So Ethan is quite valid in saying he's annoying.
Aidan is diagnosed with Global Developmental Delay which basically means he's been delayed on most activities. It is a form of intellectual and physical disability. Its kind of like autism, although he's not autistic. Physically he's mostly normal, although he looks a little different, and he moves a little different. He's socially extremely outgoing, and doesn't really know any bounds of social behaviour. He probably exhibits the intellect of a three year old, but he can be a cunning little bugger as well. When he throws a tantrum, they can be rippers!
Anth is fine with Ethan not being happy with Aidan. He has to be able to express these opinions, so its no good us telling him, nor Callum as Callum gets older, that they have to be lovey-dovey and over-accepting of Aidan. They have to have their own lives, experiences and emotions as well. We all know we love Aidan regardless, but you have to be able to express annoyance with him as well, otherwise you'd choke it up into that little ball down in the pit of your stomach, and then you get a belly ache! May as well vomit it out when the mood takes you. Ok, I'm ranting now. Time to go!
Ciao for Now, Parent of Disabled Child Angry Dad.
The kids all had question and answer type statements in an About Me folder. To the question "What makes you grumpy?" Ethan had written words to the effect of, "Aidan, because he's annoying." It's true, Aidan can be incredibly annoying. He has a habit of restating the same questions over and over again, and for normal kids he can be terrible to play with, as his attention strays easily. His finger dexterity means he can't pick up simple things as well as normal kids. He doesn't destroy things like he used to, that's Callum's current job. So Ethan is quite valid in saying he's annoying.
Aidan is diagnosed with Global Developmental Delay which basically means he's been delayed on most activities. It is a form of intellectual and physical disability. Its kind of like autism, although he's not autistic. Physically he's mostly normal, although he looks a little different, and he moves a little different. He's socially extremely outgoing, and doesn't really know any bounds of social behaviour. He probably exhibits the intellect of a three year old, but he can be a cunning little bugger as well. When he throws a tantrum, they can be rippers!
Anth is fine with Ethan not being happy with Aidan. He has to be able to express these opinions, so its no good us telling him, nor Callum as Callum gets older, that they have to be lovey-dovey and over-accepting of Aidan. They have to have their own lives, experiences and emotions as well. We all know we love Aidan regardless, but you have to be able to express annoyance with him as well, otherwise you'd choke it up into that little ball down in the pit of your stomach, and then you get a belly ache! May as well vomit it out when the mood takes you. Ok, I'm ranting now. Time to go!
Ciao for Now, Parent of Disabled Child Angry Dad.
posted by Wes at 8:53 pm
5 Comments:
What a unique perspective - you are right. Ethan needs to be able to express his own feelings.
You and Anth certainly have your hands full. {{hugs}}
My brother has certain Learning Disablities. Doesn't sound like quite the extent as your son. It was easier for us, because we are 7 years apart, and I'm a girl (and VERY patiant). So I helped him more. It might eventually get to that point for them too, when they get older.
wow.. i love the way you wrote this and how you say it's okay for him to think aiden is annoying. it's cute and supportive, without being .. hell, i cna't think of the word it is way too fucking early dammit. anyways, you rock.
the end.
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I think it's wonderful that Ethan feels comfortable enough to express his feelings. Because of that he will be able to be more supportive of Aiden. You definitely got your hands full.
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