Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Ok, so I'm here now.

After 22 hours of flying or being in Airports, I'm finally in Clearwater, Florida. Its bizarre in that its almost exactly like Brisbane weather in Summer, so from that respect its not much different. All the people I've met here are really friendly and laid back, so that's nice as well.

After saying the flights were uneventful yesterday, I wasn't counting on the storm season in the middle of the country. I flew from LAX to Dallas/FT Worth, and got stuck on the tarmac whilst a lightning storm came to the South of the airport. We had to sit in the aeroplane, about 10 metres from the gate, whilst they couldn't connect us up as no workers are allowed out in lightning storms. Fair enough I guess, I wouldn't want to be hit by lightning either.

My amusement for the hour or so we waited was hoping that it would rain because all the workers must have just run for it when they were told the lightning could hit. If it rained, there was a stack of luggage just sitting out, uncovered, on trolleys next to the airplane. How pissed off would you be if you got to your destination and found everything in your bag soaked?! I'm such a sadistic bastard getting enjoyment from that, but after 19 hours and little sleep, your mind does wander.

I was travelling on Memorial Day in the U.S. I had an interesting co-passenger. He was in the U.S. Army, and he was travelling on for his first tour to Iraq. I didn't know what to say. You can't just say "Don't get killed" can you, even if its the first thing that popped into your head. We talked more about his journey to get there than on specifics. I have huge respect for these type of people who have to go and do their governments bidding. One thing about Americans I noticed too, was that many of them were very respectful and positive to this young guy, and this may have been even more so given it was Memorial Day. As I've said before, I hope my kids never have to go to war.

Ciao for Now, I'm Here Now Angry Dad.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

L.A. International Airport

Since I don't know when I'll next be seated in front of a computer with Net access, I thought I'd send a post from the Admiral's Lounge at LAX. I had an uneventful flight over here. Thankfully, there are now direct flights from Brisbane to Los Angeles, so after around 12 hours in the air, I've got a stopover before I fly out to Dallas, and then on to Tampa in Florida. All of this in one lovely long day of air travel.

It is weird flying back into America. I think that over the past 15 years I average about a trip a year over here. My brother and sister both lived in L.A. during various phases of their lives, so although I don't know all its intricacies, I know a bit about it. I love going to Disneyland, or Universal Studios, or Magic Mountain when I come through, so its strange knowing that this time, both ways, all I am doing is passing through. I like Californians, and think that if I ever had to live over here, which is incredibly unlikely, I'd quite possibly live in L.A.

I already miss home. On the way over, as I dozed off to sleep I was thinking about how Callum isn't crawling yet, but in all likelihood he will be before I get back. He is right on the verge, and all he has to do is lower his legs instead of floundering and kicking on his stomach, and he'll be off! I know Anth will get all the boys into a routine quick smart, and they won't be distracted by Dad coming in and saying, "Right, let's go and do this, or that" and stuffing up her plans. However, at least this time when I woke up, it was because the guy next to me had put his reading light on, and not because I'd been punched in the face!

Ciao for Now, Jet Lagging Angry Dad.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Leaving, on a jet plane

This morning I get on a plane from Brisbane, Australia, and over the course of the next 20 hours or so I fly more than 15,000km to Tampa, Florida in the U.S.A. It's a bloody long way! I am going there for work.

Last night, Anth asked if I was going to stay up late so that I adjusted my body clock to the potentially new time. I didn't plan to, but in the end I did. I'm the type of person who leaves things until the last minute. Why do today what you can stress about in the final stretch tomorrow? So last night at around 10:00pm I started packing, and at around 2:00am I was still doing things like paying online bills.

This, of course, was interspersed with online poker games, searching for meaningless trivia on the net, and reading other peoples blogs. I have no one to blame but myself, but I think I have everything I need.

I was woken up by Callum punching me awake in the head at around 6:30am. He's the best alarm clock money can't buy. So today I'm off like a piece of mouldy cheese, and hopefully tomorrow I can get Net connections to continue on with the journalled life of an Angry Dad!

Ciao for Now, Travellin' Angry Dad.

Sunday, May 28, 2006


Sometimes as adults, its only when we think of how we treated our children later that their perspective comes into view.

Yesterday, our Taekwondo club had a demonstration at one of the local school fetes. We'd prepared Ethan to go along, and he and I got our uniforms on at home, and drove up to the school. Just as we pulled up into the car park, we could see other class students in their uniforms practicing in the school grounds. From a distance, it looked like most of them were black belts, as their belt colours were mainly dark. I commented on this to Ethan, as we pulled up to a stop.
"Look, it looks like there are a lot of black belts their today!"
"Are there any white belts like me there?"
"Yeah, there will be other kids there. We've got our presentation."
"I don't want to go." (tears)
"Why not. All the other kids are there?"
"I want to go home."
"But I need you to go. We're not going home."
"But I'm scared..."

I managed to convince him that we would go, as their were lots of other rides and games there, and perhaps we could come back and have a look if he was good. He tentatively got out of the car, and we stuck together during most of the presentation. Overall, I think he had a good time, and once we were actually with the others he calmed down a lot and enjoyed it.

From my perspective, when I was in the car, I just thought he was being difficult. I forget how easy it is to be overawed in situations like that. I've spent a lot of time in front of people, I've been in bands (both school and personal), I do public speaking, and I'm also well into adulthood, even though I often act like a child. Ethan's six. He's had very little of these types of experiences, so its quite right that he felt some trepidation. He's also a particularly sensitive kid.

Hopefully this will give him another shot of confidence that he can do things. He has no problems being social, mainly I think due to his older brother's highly outgoing nature. He does, however, sometimes have his own self confidence issues. But like I said, he's only six! So I need to just chill, and give him time to gain it by himself, and remember what its like to be daunted in the spotlight.

Ciao for Now, Chillin' Angry Dad.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Clean up the Front Yard

Because I am going away for just under a fortnight, part of this weekend is meant to involve clean up. We have our regular activities to do, which today have already included Soccer, a Taekwondo demonstration, and the weekly shopping. However, at the breakfast table this morning, Anth started making the list.

"Right, what things do you have to do this weekend?"
"Clean the pool filter."
"Yes, clean the pool filter. What else?"
"I dunno."
"Have you seen the front yard?"
"Wednesday's mess needs to be cleaned up. That's your job."

I'm sure that dogs are just machines for dog turds and barking. Well, that was how I felt when the kid next door knocked on our door at lunchtime and said "Our ball went into your front yard, and I don't wanna go in there cause Wednesday's mess is everywhere." So I had to walk through the minefield, and get it for him. Look how proud Wednesday is of her domain? And all those things you think are rocks, they're turds.

So this afternoon will be involved with cleaning up the mess out the front. With the lack of rain, everything is so dry, and what we had which even resembles a front lawn is now pretty much gone. I think secretly I was hoping all that dog manure would be like a "special fertilizer", but unfortunately its just not true.

Ciao for Now, Pooper Scooper Angry Dad.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Babies Eating Little Things

Callum is going through teething at the moment. He dribbles all the time, and so if he sticks something in his mouth that he's not supposed to, you have to check whether he has something in there for real, or if its just his salivation causing the dribbles.

Because we have older children, we have range of toys which have lots of small pieces. Tonight, I had to extract a small lego piece from his mouth that had been left behind in one of Callum's play areas. It doesn't take much does it? The piece wouldn't have been about the size of an adult fingernail, and into his gob it went.

Now, call me paranoid, but the last thing I want is to have to do a tracheaotomy on a baby to unblock his airways. It isn't so bad whilst he's not crawling, but it will only be a matter of time. Our kids are ok at cleaning up after themselves, not perfect mind you, but most things get put away if we ask, and sometimes even if we don't ask! However, we have lots of little things that can be eaten, and I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to store all this stuff and still remain safe.

We've had to put away some things, like the "magnetix" toys with small metallic balls as connectors. Now here's something bizarre and quite sad, in researching Magnetix for this post, there is a product recall on this toy due to a child ingesting magnets and dying due to intestinal problems. So I'm not that paranoid, and this isn't just urban myth. I think these toys, unfortunately, will have to be thrown out in our household due to this - as I'm not sure what the status in Australia is for this toy. As rare as it is, I wouldn't want this to happen to anyone.

Ciao for Now, Angry Dad.

P.S. If you have any concerns on the above mentioned product, refer to the links from the Wikipedia page referenced above.

Thursday, May 25, 2006


It would seem things have finally settled back into some sort of normalcy. I think that all of us are finally over our ills, and although we've got a few twitches and aches, the worst of it is over. Callum is probably the one still feeling a bit of it, because Anth says he just sits on her hip, and won't let her go more than 5 inches away. I actually think that means he's totally normal, and just returning to his life as The Appendage.

Aidan is probably the most recovered. He does cooking every Friday at school, and Anth had to decipher what he will be cooking tomorrow.
"Cold Potatoes."
"What? What are you cooking?"
"Cold. Potatoes."
"What do you use to make them?"
"Ok, what else?"
"Have A Card Ohhhh."
"Avacado. Right."
"And Creeeeeaaaaammmmm." (notice how everything gets drawn out).
"Ahhhh.. So you're making Nachos?"
"Yes. Cold Potatoes."

Aidan's also got a new nickname at school as "Handsome Boy." When asked whether he's been a good boy at school, that's what he responds with... "No, Handsome Boy." Ethan, of course, will have none of that. His response is "Don't call me a Handsome Boy. I'm Awesome."

Ciao for Now, Awesome and Handsome Angry Dad.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Vomit III. Please let it end.

You know how most sequels are played out at the movies over years? I mean, Back to the Future was released in 1985, 1989 and 1990, and spanned 100 years. The Lord of the Rings movies were released over three years. The original Star Wars trilogy took 6 years to bring out. So why the hell do we have to put up with a third sequel of Vomit, within the course of a week?

That's right folks, this morning Ethan woke up screaming, thankfully for "Mummy", and he'd managed to throw up all over his bedroom. I got the far easier job of settling the screaming baby, as he lost his "latch on" to Anth because she had to get up and tend to Spew Boy. It turned out that in an effort to not mess up his bed, our boy threw up all over the floor. Of course, he was rightly proud of this saying "See Mum, I wasn't sick on my bed was I? I'm a good boy." How do you respond to that. He's been sick, and he's thought he's doing the right thing. I couldn't go near his room for the whole day.

How lucky am I to have a beautiful wife who not only cleans up the Vomit, but puts up with a whiney, irritable husband. That's right folks, the terror has struck me down as well. I think I've got the last of the trilogy variant like Ethan had yesterday, but I haven't hit the spews yet. What a wonderful literary topic this is. I'm just thankful that its getting me now, as I have to get on a 14 hour plane flight to the U.S. on Monday, so the last thing I want is to be shitting myself on a bloody plane, and not through fear!

Ciao for Now, No Quadrilogy like Alien Angry Dad.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Trouble comes in threes...

Well, you guessed it, after having Aidan sick, and then Callum sick, guess who got sick next. Yep, that'd be Ethan. He's got another one of those fun illnesses, diarrhoea. Look, I've even provided a link for you so you can investigate its intricacies for yourself. Fortunately, I've missed out on clean up duties in that arena, but Anth hasn't. I did, however, have to put up with the screwed up face when I tried to dispense medicine to him this evening. Hopefully it will help settle his stomach.

To top the evening off, when I picked up Callum after dinner, I managed to squeeze his poo out of his nappy, all up his back and down his pants, and all over my arms. Gee I'm glad he's not blocked up anymore. Dry wretch. At least he is definitely feeling better, and Aidan is as chipper as ever, so its not all bad.

To that end, life can be pretty good. I've had a remarkably lucky month with lots of things going right. It also amazes me that at this time of year in Brisbane, where we are meant to be coming into our Autumn season, how much flowering occurs in the garden. As much as I liked Autumn in Melbourne, where you'd get all the colour as the trees lost their leaves, in Brisbane you get a whole different splash of colour. My personal favourite is the Bird of Paradise, but for smell, you can't beat a Frangipani.

Midnight Oil wrote about it best in one of their early songs, Koala Sprint.
It’s mile after mile on the long coast road
Smell of frangipani ocean sky blue

Ciao for Now, Flowery Angry Dad.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Vomit II. The Spew Baby.

Normally I wouldn't write about such a disgusting subject as this twice within a week, but we had quite a memorable evening and morning, so why not share it? Are sequels better than the original, or worse?

This morning, I was woken up to a coughing sound at exactly 3:33AM. That was quickly followed by that whooshing sound we know and love, and then the feeling of dampness. All over the bed. Neither Anth nor I was immune. So we both had to get up. Clean ourselves off. Clean baby Callum off. Change the sheets. Change the pillowcases. And then get back to bed, and try to get back to sleep. Fast forward to 5:50AM. Anth woke me up saying, can you turn the radio on so we make sure we get up on time? I responded that the alarm was set for 10 minutes later, so I wouldn't turn it on.

At 7:30AM we both woke up. The radio had been turned down. No alarm. Shit. Everything was now running late. Anth got up and organised Aidan ready for school. Callum was awake and chipper. Ethan slept. We put Callum down on a doona in our kitchen. Anth took his nappy off, as he needed nappy free time.

Now at this point, I should point out another gross fact, and you'll understand why in a minute if you read on. Callum hasn't done a proper poo in 3 days. He's been blocked up. That may have been the reason for the evening spew, but I think he's just got a bug. When she put him down, Anth warned that we'd have to keep an eye on him. She went off to dress Aidan. I went off to make the lunches. Five minutes later on my return, there was our beautiful son, swimming around in a nice brown puddle.

I can stomach vomit, but not stinky poo. It makes me dry wretch. So as I'm screaming "Wipes, Wipes" I'm trying not to bring up the third in the Trilogy, Vomit III. Anth came in, and started hysterically laughing at the site of me holding poo baby at arms length, yelling for wipes, and trying not to choke. I'm not sure if she was laughing at me, or just out of psychosis. (She assures me she's laughing with me, but I wasn't laughing). We managed to wipe him down, and get him into a bath, along with doing the appropriate clean up to get rid of the smell. With all this, I was late to work.

Tonight, I decided I'd go and see The DaVinci Code, so I got ready to go to the late session. The second I was about to walk out the door, Callum woke up from his slumber in Anth's arms, and proceeded to throw up all over her. Like I said, he must have a bug, or he just doesn't want me to leave. We again had to clean him up, her up, shower him and her, and get them changed. It didn't end up slowing me up too much, and I still took in the film, but I had to spend most of it not putting my hands anywhere near my face, as the stench of sickness ran deep on these today!

Ciao for Now, The Foulest Stenches in the Air Angry Dad.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

45th Wedding Anniversary

This week was my parents 45th wedding anniversary. I'm not sure if the actual day was today or not because I'm a forgetful son. Anth has just informed me it was yesterday, the 20th. We went up to Noosa for a celebratory lunch today with my brother and his family. Leanne, my sister in law, laid on a huge feast for of our families, as well as two guests they are entertaining. We took up a big chocolate cake for the dessert.

45 years is a bloody long time! And putting up with me, my brother, and my sister, and successfully raising us to the people we are today is impressive. We had a stable upbringing, and spent most of our growing up lives in the same house in Strathmore, Victoria. Our house was close to the Essendon Airport, and if you've ever seen the movie "The Castle" you've got a bit of an idea of where we lived (it was shot just around the corner!).

From there, when I was 15, they began a journey which would take them around the world. Dad got transferred to Canberra, Australia's capital, then two years later he was off to Washington D.C. From there, they went back to Canberra, to Montreal, and in their retirement ended up in Noosa. They're incredibly worldly well travelled, and next week are off for a trip to Kakadu in the Northern Territory.

Mum and Dad were relatively strict, but not so strict that we couldn't explore our own creativity and selves. They did so much for us, that its only as an adult that you really appreciate how much it was, as you try to do the same types of things with your own kids. We never really went without, but we still had a sense of what it took to do things like holidays, family outings, gifts and keeping food on the table. I think they did a great job!

Ciao for Now, Happy Anniversary from the Angry Dad.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Grown Up, from a 6 year old's perspective.

As part of my Saturday activities, I do the main weekly shop at the local supermarket. This week, as Aidan wasn't well last night, Ethan decided to come with me. It has been a while since he's been in the Supermarket, but he still remembers going there when he was "a kid".

The fruit and vegetable section is dominated by a number of wooden holder boxes, where the produce is displayed and accessible around waist height for most adults. This means that kids can get down and crawl under the boxes, as their is enough room to use them for personal entertainment. There are about 6 rows of these, and Ethan always used to make it his own personal challenge to get down and under each one, from one end to the other.

Today, however, it was not to be. As we approached, he began a conversation along the lines of:

"Dad, I used to crawl under these when I was a kid, didn't I?"
"But I'm all grown up now, so I can't fit can I?"
"Probably not."
"And its yucky and gross under there isn't it?"
"But you used to do it..."
"But I don't anymore 'cause I'm all grown up."

Does that mean that being a kid, you don't get to be yucky and gross anymore? This was followed up just after lunchtime, with this discussion about getting older.

"When I'm a grandpa, you'll be dead won't you."
"Well, maybe, but hopefully by then science will have worked out how to keep people alive." (Yes, I am a nerd)
"No, you'll be dead."

Great. At least he's a realist!

Ciao for Now, Not Dead Yet Angry Dad.

Friday, May 19, 2006


Poor Little Aidan. There must be a bug going around his school at the moment. A few of the kids have had some time off, but Aidan managed to make it through the whole week. Tonight, being take-away night, we had Fish and Chips for dinner. Aidan also must have had a few snacks during the day, and being school "Cooking" day, we know he would have eaten everything that they cooked.

Aidan was very good this afternoon, although Anth had said he was a little lethargic. This evening, Anth and Callum had a bath. She had used a "Bath Bomb" to help relax her. Aidan jumped into the bath after Anth had finished, and perhaps when he drank the bath water, it didn't go down too well. After he finished and got out of the bath, he began to constantly ask for a drink of water. He must have drunken a fair amount.

We put him to bed at around 8:30pm, but after 8:45pm we heard a coughing sound, and then that familiar sound which brings tears to the eyes of all parents. And not just from the desire to protect our ill child. Its usually, "Oh Shit, now I have to clean up a room full of vomit." Aidan was quite good this time, managing to keep the two very large pools on the bed itself. Gross image, isn't it. Anth and I were able to shower Aidan, clean the room, and get our pastey White little boy back to bed within 10 minutes. Hopefully he feels better tomorrow.

Ciao for Now, "I ain't cleaning it up if its everywhere" Angry Dad.

Thursday, May 18, 2006


Tonight, at Taekwondo training, I suffered pain. It wasn't that short sharp pain that you get when you overdo something, and you know it instantaneously. This crept up on me over the course of the whole session, and became most prevalent at the end as we did our line up. Its a stiffness across my lower back that is now just aching. I suspect its because of being cardiovascularly unfit, but I hope it doesn't stay around too long.

Callum had his share of pain this week. He got his 6 month injections. Ok, so they were a little late, but that isn't really a problem. So he has been a little grizzly over the course of the past few days. He can't really "tell" us what the pain is like, but he does make up for it with the crying, and the need to be constantly held!

Wednesday too is in some pain. Hers is the pain of old age. She is now 12 years old, which is quite old for a dog, although she should hopefully live to around 15 or 16. She is now on anti-inflammatory drugs which do seem to help, but she definitely isn't a puppy anymore, and you can tell that it is getting uncomfortable for her in certain positions.

All up though, I don't think any of us are feeling the pain a lizard felt about half an hour ago. I had stumbled outside in the dark to put the bins out. I felt a horrible sluggy sensation underfoot. After I jumped about a metre into the air, I went back inside to check out what I thought was either a giant slug or a snake. Neither. There was a poor old lizard there, looking somewhat the worse for wear, but still alive. I bet he or she is in pain, though. Ouch.

Ciao for Now, Squishy Angry Dad.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Things Kids Do

Today I was on a training course, and I was speaking with one of the attendees about the things kids get up to when everything goes quiet. He told me how the other night, his son had been playing in his own room, when things went quiet. He turned to his wife with a quizzical look, and then apparently dashed into the room to find his son quite happily pointing to all the pictures on the wall he'd drawn with a permanent marker pen.

I told him I could top it. We had taken the kids to one of our friends house, where Ethan and their son went down to play in the downstairs cubby house. Things went quiet. We all dashed down to discover that they had found the sump oil which had been drained from one of the cars, and unfortunately left on the side of their car port. Both boys were covered from top to toe in oil, and had also tried to get it off by running through all the washing hanging on the line. Boy, was my mate in trouble after they scrubbed the oil off them.

In a similar vein, but not quite as destructive, was what Aidan did as a younger child. He used to eat Anth's lipstick, until he found a better use for it. He thought that to put it on, you mushed it in your hand, and then rubbed it all over your face. So here is a collection of the photos we managed to get of this one. Notice how it really does make him look like the son of a Devil, which I guess makes me the Devil! I better pull out my Black Sabbath records again!!

Ciao for Now, Satanic Angry Dad.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Mucked up brain songs

Tonight whilst Anth was cleaning up after dinner, and Callum was sitting on my lap, Aidan rocked up into the kitchen and began singing.
Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.
How I wonder what you are.
Like a donut in the blah.
Ee I Ee I Ohhhhh.

Well, it started off ok. If there wasn't something not quite about Aidan's brain, I'm sure he would be very musically talented. Even as it is, he loves singing and dancing, and can hold a tune. He also has an amazing capacity to remember tunes and songs, and be able to vocalise along with songs on the radio that he probably only has heard once or twice. However, getting the words right is another matter!

One of his favourite, and most annoying songs, is called the Blah song. This basically consists of him sitting outside on his tri-cycle going "Blah Blah Blah, Blah Blah Blah" to variations of kids nursery rhymes, or whatever tune he has in his head on that particular day. I'm sure the neighbours just love it!

Ciao for Now, MMMmmm Donut in the Sky Angry Dad.

Monday, May 15, 2006


I'm tight. I know I'm tight. I've always been tight. And, no, I ain't talking the kind of tight where you squeeze into those pair of jeans that are one size too small, and I ain't talking the kind of tight where two brother's are keepin' it real in the hood. I'm talking Money tight.

Now don't get me wrong, like the majority of people, I spend to my means. We put a little away, and we still have a mortgage to pay, but I'm the sort of guy where if you say lets spend $1200 on a new big screen TV, I'm going to have to pass. Hell, I won't even pay full price for a pair of jeans or runners. Most of my clothes are built for comfort, not expensive style.

So over the course of this week, a whole stack of bills have come in, and now I'm running around like a headless chook trying to figure out how I can cut back $20 here and there, to cover off the rates bill, and the insurance, and the kids soccer lessons, and taekwondo, and school fees. Even with budgeting, something new and unexpected always seems to pop up, especially in the kids arena.

So I'll bitch and moan, but most of the time we find a way to cover it off. I do note, however, that I haven't done my one main vice of casino gambling of late. I really must be tightening up!

Ciao for Now, Tidy Angry Dad.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Evil, EVIL I tells ya!

The past two days have reminded me of the Treehouse of Horror III episode of The Simpsons, where Homer buys Bart a talking Krusty doll for his birthday. When Grampa Simpson sees the doll, the following plays out:

Abe:[shouting] That doll is *Evil*, I tells ya. Evil! Eeeeeeviillll!!!
Marge: Grandpa, you said that about all the presents.
Abe: [whines] I just want attention.

Cut to last night, when we were sitting watching Television with friends, when their son Sebastian rushes in. In his hands, he's holding the Matchbox toys "Haunted House" playset. He looks straight at me, calling my name, declaring:

Can you come and play with us out the back?
Why, what do you need me for?
We're playing the ghost game, and we need someone Evil to work it.

Even today, on Mother's Day, when we were driving back from the Gold Coast after a family day out I got accused. Ethan, just because I was mucking up when he was trying to play I Spy, suddenly declares:

If you don't stop being Evil, I'm going to flick you in the ear.

As if that's gonna work. You'll need a stake. MMMmmm Steak.....

Ciao for Now, Secretly Evil Angry Dad.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Busy Saturdays

All of a sudden, Saturdays, which used to be lazy days, have become busy. When you're a parent and your kids are at school age, there seem to be a multitude of activities which culminate into Saturday rituals. Currently, for Ethan we have soccer, and for Aidan opportunities have arisen to put him into Saturday care.

Today my parents had slept over due to babysitting the kids last night. So this morning was full of Aidan running around the house yelling "Its Grandma!" at the top of his voice. Aidan had to be made ready for his day care, and Ethan had to be made ready for soccer, with both starting at 9:30am. You'd think that with a 7:00am start for this, we'd be ready by 9:30am, and this time, thankfully we were. I went the soccer route with Grandpa, whilst Anth took the care route with Grandma.

Soccer went well, and Ethan even won a "player of the day" award. As Aidan wasn't home, when we got home from Soccer, I suggested that Ethan and I could go down to Movie World and do the kids rides for a few hours, and that way Anth could get a kip in with Callum. Sweet, so we did that, and were back by 3:00pm to pick up Aidan.

From there, it was a mad dash to the shops for Mother's Day gifts and the weekly shopping ritual, then home and out for dinner again with friends to celebrate joint birthdays. After that it was back to our house with the same friends for a night of AFL football watching.

You know, I could be on reality TV. If you packaged up the highlights of the day, you could squeeze it into half an hour (including ads), and "Ta-da", half an hour of crap, but highly watchable and entertaining, prime time viewing. The kids would love it!

Ciao for Now, No TV - You just read it here Angry Dad.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Happy Birthday Anth!

Today was Anth's ummm.. well, as she says, she just turned 29 again... Birthday. I hope she's had a good day! It began, as all days do recently, with the Appendage turning up the volume to wake us all up. The morning was also punctuated by Ethan telling us that Anth couldn't open her presents until we had cake, so we had to have cake for breakfast. There was no cake, but there were almost tears! Cake would come later.

Anth was fortunate to have her friends Sharon and Brenda take her out for a city lunch. My Mum and Dad came down to look after Callum, and make sure that the kids all got home from school without problems as well. I had to get a cake on the way home, so when I finally got home after my cake search, we sat around, blew out the candles on the cake, and opened presents.

One of the presents I got Anth was Kathy Lette's book, "How to Kill Your Husband." From the looks of this picture, it would seem that I've given her a manual for how to do it. Look how excited she is, and that glint in her eye says "Just you wait, big boy..." and it ain't because of any innuendo either. Should I wear my protective chain mail vest to bed lest she stabs me? Me thinks not. And no, as kinky as it would be, I don't have a chain mail vest.

To top it off, Mum and Dad let me take Anth out for dinner, so we went out to the city, to West End, and had a nice Mediteranean meal at a Greek restaurant. So all up, it may not have been the most memorable birthday, but a good one none the less!

Ciao for Now, Not Dead Yet Angry Dad.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

The Story Bridge

Most mornings when I walk into work I park in a suburb of Brisbane known as New Farm. As I walk along the Brisbane River, I get the above fantastic view of the Story Bridge, with the city in the background. Opened in 1940, it provides one of the main links between the North and South sides of the city.

I love this walk to work. It takes about 1/2 an hour, and I have all sorts of nerdy habits I partake. There are all these kick ass spiders along the path that spin webs over the trees. We're talking near hand size for some of the big ones, but they just sit up in the trees catching whatever passes by. During the hot summer months there are lizards which come out and laze on the hot path. There is also a constant stream of people going back and forth, more so now as the weather has gotten more tolerable and not so humid, and I love to people watch.

But it is the walk back from the city which at the moment provides some of the most spectacular views of the bridge and the city. Each night, you get to watch the sun set behind the city as the lights come up and start twinkling both on the bridge and with the building towers. The river offsets this with great reflections.

I love living in this city. It has so much to offer, and its grown from being the big country town when we first moved here seven years ago. There are beaches both north and south, there's a ring of rainforests to the west, and everywhere there are outdoor activities you can undertake. The weather is fantastic year round, bar a few hot and humid weeks. These are easily countered with a pool and air conditioning! The people are friendly, and now there's pretty much everything you could want. So if you come to Australia, or if you live here already, get your arse to Brisbane.

Ciao for Now, Spokesman for Brisbane City Council Angry Dad.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006


It finally caught up with me. It has been coming since waiting up until 2:00am on Saturday night/Sunday morning to see whether the Beaconsfield Miners would be rescued that evening (they weren't, but thankfully were out on Tuesday). I have had a number of late nights over the past few days, but last night teething really kicked in.

Callum's first tooth came through over the weekend, and he's exhibiting all the classic symptoms of teething. He gets grumpy at times, and he also is drooling like a leaky tap. Anything he grabs ends up in his gob for a chew. We have been giving him teething rusks, and he likes chowing down on them. Wednesday, the dog, also likes them as snack treats.

Suffice to say, it hasn't been so nice with our current sleeping arrangements. Yes, Callum is still in the bed with us. With these teething sessions I think we were woken up every half an hour last night. With teething, it isn't just a punch in the face wake up. Its a horrible moan, a wail, tears and then scream crying until a nipple is shoved in his gob. Gee my nipples are sore. That's because Anth tweaks mine to show me what it feels like when "one tooth" latches on.

So today, after minimal sleep, I couldn't take it any more. I was a zombie for the first part of the morning after getting up at 6:30am. I tried to make an effort to go to work, but by 8:00am I was more or less incoherent. I rang in sick, which I effectively was, and then slept until lunchtime. Anth then had the afternoon sleep shift whilst I looked after Groucho Marx. Hopefully, we can now make it to the weekend.

Ciao for Now, Tooth-Hurty Angry Dad.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Mr Socko.

Aidan must be doing Sock Puppets at school. For the past few nights, he's been pulling out all the socks in his sock draw, and demanding that we put them on his hands so they can be sock puppets. Its very cute. Then he runs around the house saying, "I got sock Parp Pet." (If you say it out loud yourself, it almost sounds right!). When he has them on his hands, he gets them to talk to each other as well, although I haven't quite worked out what the conversation is about yet.

Sock Puppets always remind me of Mr Socko. I've mentioned before that I'm tragic for crap television. That fixation has, at times, extended itself to WWF or WWE. That's right folks, "Lets get ready to Rummmmbbbblllllleeeeee". When I first left home I used to be a Hulkamaniac. Over the years, I've loved all the Hoo Hah and drama that's gone along with it. Mr Socko was part of the persona of Mick Foley, otherwise known as "Mankind".

Part of Mankind's swag of Wrestling Moves was a move known as the Mandible Claw. Callum also has learnt this move. It involves sticking your fingers into the mouth of your opponent, say Dad for example, and then putting your thumb under the chin and squeezing. Callum does this with his little talon hands, damaging gums and lips just when you think he's being really cute. Looks like I'll be getting Vince McMahon over soon to assess his potential as a wrestling super star!

Ciao for Now, Turnbuckle Angry Dad.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Useless stuff about me.

Ok, I've been promising Cheeky that I'd participate in her meme from the 2nd May, where she tagged me to write useless stuff about myself. Again, this isn't really the intent of why I blog, so I'm not gonna pass it on, and I'm going to try to keep a family flair. So here we go.

  1. If you met me, you'd think I was a prententious git.
  2. If I was on The Young Ones, as much as I'd want to be Vyvyan or Mike the Cool Person, I'm more likely to be considered Rick.
  3. Ethan is in the top 3% for height and size for his age.
  4. Aidan is in the bottom 3% for height and size for his age.
  5. Callum is somewhere in the middle, but has the bluest eyes of all of us.
  6. I play the guitar. I used to play keyboards. I played the trumpet in school band. I used to think that Aidan was the most musical of the kids, but Ethan has been showing some aptitude lately. I love music!
  7. I used the Internet as early as 1987, when in Australia it was known as AARNET. I attended the Net (Nerd) Workshops when only about 100 people showed up.
  8. In the mid 90's my wife and I were hooked on chat, including Powwow and Worlds Chat when they first started. That's where I first met Cheeky! That was before we had kids.
  9. I had a bout of Repetitive Strain Injury in my wrists and shoulders. This was from using computers too much (and not from masturbation).
  10. I go to the movies whenever possible. I much prefer it over watching a DVD on TV. Ethan has hopefully joined me in this enjoyment.
  11. When I was in my 20's I thought I was bulletproof. In my 30's all of those statistics about life (divorce, death, marriage, children) kicked in. I want to break the mold (or is it mould?) on these.
  12. Wednesday is 84 in human years. She's now an elder stateswoman who still does dog turds and digs holes inappropriately. Can we put it down to old age now?
  13. I once worked out that I'd need to "win" $70 million to do everything I ever wanted and live well for the rest of my life. With inflation, its probably more like $100 million now. Greed isn't good. I'll settle for a case of beer and a pizza.
  14. I don't drink, so I'd have to share the beer.
  15. I totalled a car when I was 17. As I was the driver, and banged my head in the wreck, I had to wear a bandage for a while. I therefore was dubbed "Turban Head." You can't drive 100kmh on a dirt road at 17.
  16. I've been to five AFL Grand Finals. Carlton won three of them. I wish the glory days would come back at the moment.
  17. I'm a reality TV junky, although most of it is crap. Absolute Crap. I like the psychology of it, which is another way of saying I like watching crap.
  18. My family have been indoctrinated into the Simpsons. When Aidan was in a coma after his seizure, I tried singing him the Simpsons theme tune to see if he'd recognise it.
  19. I have to call Anth's parents by their surnames. They are Mr and Mrs W. It freaks me out to call them by their maiden names. I blame it on the schooling I had.
  20. When shopping, I sometimes have to bribe my children to behave. I now realise that sugary treats like donuts are not good bribes. I'd rather them be bad without a sugar rush, than good with one. Donuts of themselves aren't bad. Don't say a bad thing about donuts. MMMmmmm Donuts.
  21. I often wonder if anyone reads these lists, or do they just do it so they can say, "I wrote a list."
  22. For our first date, Anth and I went and saw the Steve King Horror Flick "Pet Sematary."
  23. Aidan was a bum shuffler, and Ethan was a crawler. Callum, at 7 months, can't decide if he'll do either.
  24. Brussel Sprouts make me vomit.
  25. I blog because I can. I hope you like it.
There you have it.

Ciao for Now, All listed out Angry Dad.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

"Children of Courage" Award

Today, Aidan received a Lions Club "Children of Courage" award. In his category, Special Needs, it is awarded to Children with special needs who have shown courage in the face of adversity. Nominees in this category will be those children who have striven to improve the quality of their lives. Aidan was nominated by one of our neighbours, who is in the club.

This was a significant award for Aidan, it was given to him by the Lord Mayor of Brisbane, and he was one of ten children given recognition in the areas of Special Needs, Courageous Act or Deed, and Outstanding Sporting Achievements. We were very proud of him, even if he did play up during most of the ceremony. He did, however, manage to redeem himself on stage! The presenters all donned party hats to join in the celebration.

To provide more background on Aidan, here is the citation we wrote for him:

Aidan has both an intellectual and some physical disability as a result of a seizure he sustained at 18 months of age. He spent two weeks at the Royal Children’s Hospital in Melbourne. When he was sent home he was unable to eat, had no control of his physical movement, and no recognition of family or friends.

With the help of some very supportive people and many busy years, Aidan was able to regain and grow many of the functions we all take for granted. It took him four years to learn how to walk, and only now is he able to communicate verbally with sentences. He has learnt how to ride a bike with training wheels, how to dress himself, and his language development improves every day.

Aidan is highly sociable, and has a tendency to introduce himself to everybody that he meets. He loves meeting new people and has his special greetings which include “Hello”. “What are you doing today?” and “Will you be here tomorrow?” He loves to go to the beach, and especially loves the Geebung Special School where he receives tremendous learning support.

Aidan’s intellectual disability does come with some challenges. His highly sociable nature means that he has to be watched constantly on outings. He tends to have loud outbursts when things do not go to his liking. He also has some difficulty concentrating on tasks, which sometimes hampers his learning ability.

Aidan knows he has his family’s love. His best friends are his two brothers, Ethan and Callum. He also likes to feed Wednesday, the dog, with any leftover food scraps he can find! He loves spending time with his grandparents, particularly his Grandma.

His family is very proud Aidan has been nominated for a Lions Children of Courage Award.

Aidan had a lot of fun at the ceremony. They all got covered in streamers and balloons at the end of the show, so he was in his element. They had a party at the end as well, which was in part hosted by McDonalds, so there were McDonald Cookies everywhere. The kids all ran around, and Ethan had family friends and other kids he knew from his school there, so he was happy. We had family and friends there, so all up it ended being a pretty good afternoon.

Ciao for Now, Proud Angry Dad.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Hell Morning.

This is a long post, but strive on humble reader, for the delights of hell morning. You will note that it is better that it was I, and not you!

I bet we've all had one of those morning's where things just start to go off, and there seems to be nothing you can do to control it. It doesn't matter whether you've got kids or not, some days, you just shouldn't get out of bed. Today was one of them.

It started off normal enough. Callum woke up around 6:30am. Aidan came into bed. Anth disappeared to Aidan's room for more sleep. Callum screamed in my ear, but I managed to get him to go back to sleep. I lay awake, unable to sleep on my back with the Appendage growing from my stomach. The dulcet tones of Aidan's snoring also keeping me awake. By 8:00am I'd had enough, and Callum re-awoke, punching Aidan in the head. So there was nothing abnormal here.

We had to be at our best friends son's Birthday party, at a local McDonalds, for 10:00am. We were all up at 8:00am. Anth told us we HAD to be ready by 9:30am, and we couldn't be late, because she was sick and tired of always being late. At 9:30am, I was just finishing breakfast, Ethan was lazing on the back couch watching cartoons, Callum was sucking on toast with vegemite and Aidan was freaking out about the T-Shirt he had to wear. Anth was in the shower, almost ready to go. Fast forward through the next half hour where Callum didn't stop crying, Aidan wouldn't get dressed, I wouldn't pull my finger out, and Ethan - god bless him - was good!

So we were ready to go at 10:00am. That was almost ok. We'd be late, but not too late. Until Aidan moved to get in the car. The dog had shat on the floor of the garage. Aidan stood in it. He then jumped in the car. He stood on the seat. He wiped his foot on the back of the drivers seat. This was all unbeknownst to Anth and I. I almost stood in the dog turd as I closed his door, and then I saw it, smushed up on the garage floor, with the trail into the car.

"Faaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrkkkkkk. Get out of the Car Aidan."
"What. What's wrong."
"The dog shat in the garage Anth."
"Yes, Shit. Aidan stood in it and its all through the car."
"We HAVE to go. We have a birthday party to go to."
At this point, all three boys in the car start howling.
"I am NOT driving the car with dog shit in it. Get out Aidan."
"We HAVE to GO!"
"Go and get some car cleaner, or spot remover, or whatever...."

I won't go on with the further exchange, but you can imagine it was full of expletives, and it took us a further 15 minutes to clean the shoes, clean Aidan, clean the car, pick up dog turd, and get to the point where we could go on.

At the party, Aidan was a little shit. He complained as soon as we got there, that he was hungry. Well that'd be because you didn't eat breakfast wouldn't it?! So he accosted the McDonalds staff for food, which they of course weren't ready to give. One of the other parents also foolishly offered him bubblegum. The offerer wasn't the fool, but I was for saying No. The problem with bubblegum is Aidan puts it all over his face and in his hair. The other parent didn't know this. Aidan threw another tantrum. Other than this, the party was fine, and Ethan and Callum had fun! Anth and I stayed on the verge of nervous breakdown.

Now to top off the morning, we had a soccer game we had to get to at noon. This meant we had to leave the party early. Ever tried to get kids out of McDonalds when there's still a party going on? Even Callum wouldn't give up the fry he was holding. We dragged them out, kicking and screaming, and rushed off to soccer. It took longer than expected to get to the ground. Oh well, Ethan could join at half time. Uh Uh. We'd been given directions to the wrong ground. After running around one set of soccer fields, baby, intellectually disabled child, frazzled soccer mum, and soccer boy in tow, we gathered that we were in the wrong place. Anth made the call, and we'd passed the actual ground about 20 minutes earlier. Fancy that.

To top off hell morning, by slightly running into the afternoon, we finally got to the soccer game, and they were running late enough that we still managed to get there at half time. Ethan got put on straight away as Goalie, until the coach had second thoughts and shifted him to the main field. Great move coach. One of his own players kicked the ball at him. Now, as much as I'm a fan of football in the groin comedy, this wasn't one of those days. He went down. He teared up. Anth had to be kicked to go out and be nice to him (She is sick of him crying at soccer!) I had to hold on to Aidan and Callum to stop them escaping, and the sun beat down on us, mocking us, beating its hell rays on us to confirm that Yes, we truly had had Hell Morning.

Fortunately, it didn't turn into Hell Day. We spent the better half of the afternoon, chilling out at friends where we were able to calm down, and actually laugh about it. Hope you enjoyed this rant!

Ciao for Now, Hellish Angry Dad.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Siblings of Disabled Children

Today was Ethan's Celebration Day at primary school. This was an opportunity for mums and dads to go down to the school and review the kids progress so far this year. Anth went down, and got to see all of Ethan's school work. He's doing a great job, but one thing Anth rang and told me about is a reflection on kids who are siblings of disabled kids.

The kids all had question and answer type statements in an About Me folder. To the question "What makes you grumpy?" Ethan had written words to the effect of, "Aidan, because he's annoying." It's true, Aidan can be incredibly annoying. He has a habit of restating the same questions over and over again, and for normal kids he can be terrible to play with, as his attention strays easily. His finger dexterity means he can't pick up simple things as well as normal kids. He doesn't destroy things like he used to, that's Callum's current job. So Ethan is quite valid in saying he's annoying.

Aidan is diagnosed with Global Developmental Delay which basically means he's been delayed on most activities. It is a form of intellectual and physical disability. Its kind of like autism, although he's not autistic. Physically he's mostly normal, although he looks a little different, and he moves a little different. He's socially extremely outgoing, and doesn't really know any bounds of social behaviour. He probably exhibits the intellect of a three year old, but he can be a cunning little bugger as well. When he throws a tantrum, they can be rippers!

Anth is fine with Ethan not being happy with Aidan. He has to be able to express these opinions, so its no good us telling him, nor Callum as Callum gets older, that they have to be lovey-dovey and over-accepting of Aidan. They have to have their own lives, experiences and emotions as well. We all know we love Aidan regardless, but you have to be able to express annoyance with him as well, otherwise you'd choke it up into that little ball down in the pit of your stomach, and then you get a belly ache! May as well vomit it out when the mood takes you. Ok, I'm ranting now. Time to go!

Ciao for Now, Parent of Disabled Child Angry Dad.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

World Travel

Tonight as I sat and watched "The Amazing Race" I contemplated World Travel. This is one of those shows that I'm sure thousands of people say, "Oh I had that idea!" Who wouldn't? Although it takes someone with the resources of Jerry Bruckheimer to get this type of thing off the ground. It must have been a huge initial undertaking. Although now in its seventh race, it has taken a long time to get off the ground in Australia. As much as I like the whole "fish out of water" and watching "annoying Americans", the thing that really gets it for me is the locations that they visit.

Tonight it was Italy and Greece. They are in and out so fast, there's no way that they can really appreciate it. But the mere fact that they go there at all is incredible. I would love to do it, although I can just see Anth and I arguing like some of the other married couples, and ripping each others throats out. The other thing I don't get is, "What happens to their kids?" We couldn't leave our monsters with other people for too long, as enticing as it sounds. And you can't exactly take them along with you. Though that would make for an even more interesting race!

It reminds me of an Australian book which is out about travel called "Absolutely Faking It." This couple won a world travel prize, where they got to stay in thirteen of the worlds most exclusive 5 star hotels, but with no spending money. So they travelled like backpackers and photographed and wrote about their journey. A fantastic book with fantastic photography. Again, this would be an amazing opportunity if you were lucky enough to have it.

I've been lucky enough to have been able to travel a fair bit, particularly to the U.S., and I'd also love to go to Europe. This will come soon enough, and my "Ooo La La's" for the French, and my "Ciao Bella's" for the Italians will come in so handy! And I do want to take the entire family with me, so that is going to add to the worldwide travel fiasco. Lets just hope that Lotto ticket I bought pays off!!

Ciao for Now, Lord I was born a travellin' Angry Dad.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Bust A Move in the Supermarket

Tonight Ethan, Callum and I had to go to the supermarket to get some of the daily staples: bread, milk, and chocolate. I had Callum attached as the Appendage to my hip, so I asked Ethan to carry the hand basket to gather the food. The crazy thing about our local Supermarket is that they seem to have lowered the meat and dairy fridges to near zero temperature levels, so as soon as you walk in in shorts and a T-Shirt you become ice cold!

So we grabbed our bread, got the milk and headed down to the Deli counter to get some sandwich meat. As we arrived, and I ordered some ham for tomorrow's lunches, Ethan started complaining about being cold.

"Dad. Its cold."
"So move around a bit."
"Move around? How?"
"Dance!" (Note: If it had been Aidan, I would have added "Monkey Boy" - in joke!)
"No no no. I need to run."
"You can't run with that basket. But you can dance."
"Show me."

So with that, I started doing my worst imatation of The Twist, with Callum swaying on my hip. Of couse, then Ethan responded with "No no no. It's like this."

He then started Busting moves that Snoop Dogg would have been proud of. He had the hands going, the hips wobbling, the legs knocking, even a bit of robot thrown in for good measure. The young girl who was trying to serve us nearly had a fit, laughing so hard, but it was pretty special.

Now, if you're going to Bust a Move in the Supermarket, it may not be cool to be as frozen as Vanilla Ice. I think Ethan would match him any day.

Ciao for Now, Poppin' Angry Dad.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

You Stupid Man.

I am a man. A male. A big arsed Gluteus Maximus. Or should that be Stupidus Maximus.

Here is a snippet of a phone conversation I had at 3:30pm with my wife.

"So Aidan is going to after school care, and I have book club tonight. Can you pick Aidan up at 6:00pm, that way you'll be home for me to go to book club."

At around 3:55pm I got another phone call, this time from Ethan because Anth was driving. From what I could discern, there was no after school care, so I didn't need to pick Aidan up. This was fine. At 5:05pm, when I should have left work to be home by 6:00pm, I rang Anth up to confirm I didn't have to pick Aidan up.

"Ok, so Aidan didn't go to care, so I don't have to pick him up?"
"That's right. When are you leaving?"
"I should be leaving now."

Now, being a stupid man, I can only concentrate on one thing at a time. My one task mind thought "I don't have to pick Aidan up. La La La. Aren't watermelons great?" (my mind is a bit flakey)

Remember, I've said I'm coming straight home. So I turn off my PC, I pick up my bag, and I leave. Then I think, I need a leak before I go home, so I go to the loo. I stop and have a conversation with someone, thinking that won't take too much time, which it didn't. Onwards. I catch another colleague at the lifts. He starts up a conversation. I get out with him to continue our discussion. I see another colleague, who asks if I can see him for a minute. That's fine, I don't have to pick up Aidan. Around 5:50pm I leave. Its an hour trip home.

Anth rings me at around 6:20pm.

"Where are you?"
"I'm about 8 minutes away." (I can be precise when pressured.)
"Did you forget I had bookclub?"
"I didn't forget."
"Liar! You stupid man!"

Actually, that last statement wasn't said, but it may as well have been. It is no solace to Anth that there are four males in the house, and no doubt we will all be the same.

Ciao for Now, The Stupid Angry Dad.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Six Strange Things/Facts/Habits About Me

Ok, I've finally succumbed to one of the meme. In Blogspeak, a meme is an idea that is shared and passed from blog to blog, like a question posted in one blog and answered in many other blogs. In this case, it came from another Aussie Dad blogger, Chocolate Makes it Better, who's tagged me to come up with six strange things about me. I'll try to throw in some parental related tidbits as well.

1. My wife has never seen me drunk. In 17 years, I haven't had a drop. Its actually longer than that. I stopped when I was about 20, mainly to help me lose some weight (worked then, doesn't now). I was also a crappy drunk. I was the guy that lent on everyone and said "I Luv Youse....", then I'd go and pick fights. Ergo, the kids have never seen me drunk.

2. I had a mohawk in high school. This was during my punk/new romantic phase. I've actually mentioned this before, but couldn't find a picture to put up of it. Now I have, so here's the proof. It was actually a mistake of the razor by the guy, a new romantic, who was trying to make it cut just above the ears and he did a crap job. My dad didn't utter a word to me for 3 days he was so angry. No respectable son of his would look like that. Hopefully my kids get better haircuts!

3. I saw the first aired episode of The Simpsons on December 19, 1989. I happened to be in the U.S. at the time visiting my parents. I bet Fox loves them for holding up their network for so long. I love this show. I'd seen some of the shorts on The Tracey Ullman Show but little did I know this would delight me for years to come. My kids have grown up on the Simpsons, and to them, I am Homer.

4. In primary school, Jamie Schoolar and I, rather than taking the rubbish bins the 500 meters to the main dumping bin, decided that it would be more fun to stand at the edge of the school building and throw all the paper from the bin into the air to see if it would "fly" to the main bin of its own accord. Little did we know we had the Principal standing behind us. We had yard garbage duty for the rest of the term. I still say it was worth it. Hope my kids subvert authority like this, but equally, I hope they respect our environment and don't rubbish it! Quid Pro Quo!!

5. I've had several slave labour type jobs: Paper Boy; Sprinkler Installer; Milko; Computer Nerd; Door to Door Roofing Salesman(only lasted an arvo at that). The one with the weirdest people was in a University Library, putting books back on the shelves. Here, there was an eclectic mix of foreigners, who all seemed to be hiding from despot regimes in other countries. They were usually school teachers or dissidents who had upset their governments, and decided that no one would find them in a Library in Australia. Or they were just Wackos. Great stories though! If my kids lose it when they get older, I'll know where to look.

6. I'm Gay. No I'm Not. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But I thought it would be cool to write that. Hopefully my kids pick up my sick sense of humour.

I'm too lazy to pass this on, but hopefully it gives you an added sense of what I'm not.

Ciao for Now, Six Six Six Angry Dad.